


Terrible Twos

by HazelRoses



Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy, Family Feels, Gen, Humor, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 10:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14714036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelRoses/pseuds/HazelRoses
Summary: Sakura and Hinata decide to take a night off from the children, leaving Sasuke and Naruto to watch them. Compared to the hundreds of near death battles they’d fought in their lives, toddlers would be a piece of cake. They didn't realize how much of a terror cranky babies could be. Tonight, would test their patience and create the most intense confusion they’d ever experienced. What did dads do when their child screamed at the top of their lungs, “Want mommy!”? This mission may be one of the toughest the powerful ninja ever faced.





	Terrible Twos

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in 2014 after the end of the Naruto series. I had to write something family oriented with Papa Sasuke and Daddy Naruto. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

“Sasuke,” Sakura called from the door as she put on her thick black coat. “Call me if you have any problems okay?”

Sasuke gave his wife a curt nod as she smiled and looped her arm in Hinata's. The Byakugan user turned her lilac orbs to look over at her husband. “Same to you Naruto. Boruto can be a handful sometimes.”

“I got it!” Naruto called from his seat on the Uchiha couch, making a shooing motion with his hand. He gave her a bright smile. “You've got nothing to worry about!”

The two women shared a wary glance, hesitant to let the fathers keep the children by themselves. This would be the first time. They hoped everything would go fine, but they were sure they'd get a text, call, or numerous throughout their night out. Children at their age were hard to deal with sometimes, and they knew how to try one’s patience. There were many times Sakura wondered if she had birthed the spawn of a demon.

“Mama!” two-year-old Sarada called as she took quick, little steps towards Sakura. Her arms were outstretched as she moved closer. “Mama!”

Sakura bent down, scooped up her bundle of joy, and kissed her pudgy cheek. “Mommy and Auntie Hinata are going out. You get to hang out with daddy okay?”

“No,” she commanded. “Want mommy.”

Oh boy. Entertaining toddlers may prove harder than their husbands expected. Sakura shook her head at the thought. Sasuke could see a glimpse of her everyday life. A cranky child could be as difficult as trying to baptize a cat. Sasuke got up to take Sarada from his wife. The child resisted like her father was a stranger. She screeched and shook her head while little hands grasped for her mother. Boruto also went up to his mom, his right thumb in his mouth. Large cerulean orbs gazed up at her. He placed his free hand upwards, indicating he wanted her to pick him up.

“Up,” he mumbled around his thumb.

“Mommy has to go,” Hinata explained as she dropped to her child's level. She kissed his forehead. “Daddy will pick you up.”

Boruto responded by releasing his slobbery thumb and grasping onto his mother's knees. He placed his head down on them and closed his eyes. That wasn't a good sign either. Boruto could be impossible without a nap. He tried his hardest to stay awake, and he'd do anything to make that happen: scream, throw a tantrum, throw toys, or try to hit you. The two mothers had learned the term “Terrible Twos” was a legit one.

Sasuke took his now screaming child and motioned for their wives to leave. “The sooner they can't see you, the quicker they'll be over your absence.”

Sakura chuckled and gave her husband a peck on his cheek. “We'll see.”

Hinata stood and zipped up her purple jacket just as Boruto whimpered. Naruto got off his spot on the couch and embraced his wife. Hinata turned her face up to capture his lips. When she pulled back, a light blush tinted her cheeks. She smiled at him, the amount of love in that single expression insurmountable. The Byakugan user ran her fingers through his silky blonde hair before turning to leave.

“Let's get going Sakura,” she said to her friend. “It's getting colder outside.”

Sakura nodded and gave one last look at her child and husband. The two women exited and closed the blue wooden door behind them with a soft click. For a moment, the mothers just stood outside the door and giggled to themselves as their children screamed at the loss of their mothers.

“This will be a good learning experience for them,” Sakura said while trying to stifle her laughter into her red mittens.

Hinata smiled at her friend. “Let's go before we end up running back inside to comfort them.”

Sasuke had a dumbfounded look on his face. He watched his child shriek like someone cut off her leg. Sarada arched her back, causing her father to catch her head before she tumbled out of his embrace. She continued to scream and try to wriggle out of his arms, so he put her down, and she waddled to the door. Her tiny hand landed on the barrier.

“ _Mama!_ ” she cried through hitched breaths, tears streaming down her little face.

“Mama will be back,” Sasuke told her.

That was not the answer she wanted to hear because she laid on the floor and screamed loud enough to break a window. Her little legs kicked with the ferocity of an athlete and Naruto tried not to laugh at how cute she was rolling around in her red onesie with little footies covering her feet.

“It's okay Sarada,” Naruto cooed while bending down to rub the toddler's back. “Uncle Naruto and daddy want to play with you!”

“Untul Naru!” she wailed. “ _Want mommy!_ ”

Naruto scratched his head in confusion and looked up at Sasuke. “She wants mommy.”

Boruto looked at Sarada throwing a fantastic tantrum and joined in, eyes filling with tears and his face scrunching up. “Where mommy?”

Naruto stood up and went to scoop up Boruto while Sasuke picked up his little girl. Confused fathers stared at each other, unsure what to do. Both children screamed in unison. Sasuke was seconds from pulling out his phone and asking Sakura what she did to calm Sarada when she was like this, but then he remembered the little one ate dinner around this time.

“Let's fix them something to eat,” Sasuke suggested while toting Sarada to the kitchen. He pulled out a napkin to wipe away the tears and snot that were covering her face. Cleaning her nose only made her fight more. “Do you want chicken nuggets?”

Sarada's breathing slowed. “Chicten nuggets? I want!”

Boruto also stopped crying and was waving his arms in a happy circle while smiling at his father. “Chicken?!”

Naruto smiled and put his son down. “Yes! We'll fix you some now! Want mac and cheese too?”

“Mac and cheese!” the toddlers sang together. They continued to chant while clapping their hands. Sarada's eyes were puffy and red. Her disheveled ebony hair stuck in every direction from her hysterics, but she grinned like nothing happened. Boruto's cheeks were tear-streaked too, but he didn't have as extreme a meltdown as Sarada did. Naruto got the little ones situated at the small blue table while Sasuke warmed up the nuggets in the microwave. He and Sakura had learned fast that when Sarada wanted chicken nuggets, she'd better get them within three minutes.

It didn't take long for the raven-haired male to fix their children's dinner. He put ketchup on their plates and placed them on the table. Each got a little spoon. Naruto leaned against the counter next to Sasuke.

“Who would have thought we'd be dads,” Naruto joked.

“Hn,” Sasuke responded. “It's a nice change from the life I was living.”

Naruto nodded in understanding as he adjusted the sleeves of his navy-blue sweater. He was about to say something else, but he realized that the children were painting each other with the ketchup instead of eating it.

“No Boruto!” he exclaimed and ran to grab his hand before he smeared more in Sarada's hair. “You eat ketchup, not paint with it.”

“Eat,” he repeated, grabbing a fistful of mac and cheese with his free hand and shoving it into his mouth. “I eat!”

Naruto sighed and accepted the baby wipes from Sasuke. They did their best to clean their faces and let them continue eating. Naruto helped Boruto use his spoon instead of his hand. Sarada could eat with it without a problem. She smiled at her father.

“Papa, I did it,” she exclaimed.

“Superb,” Sasuke praised. “You will need a bath after you eat. You've got ketchup in your hair.”

“Bath!” she yelled while bouncing up and down on her chair. “I bath?!”

“You and Boruto,” Naruto said shaking his head. “We've got to get the ketchup out of your hair before mommy sees it!”

Sasuke tensed, thinking bringing up their moms might start another crying fit. Sarada wasn't fazed. She ate her last chicken nugget and got out of her chair. She walked to Sasuke and held her arms up.

“Papa, bath time,” she instructed.

Sasuke's heart melted at the sight of his little girl. He never thought he could love as hard he did with Sarada. He loved Sakura, but it was a different and deeper love he had for his child. There was no way to explain it. Sasuke picked her up and kissed her cheek as Naruto did the same.

“Bath time!” Naruto sang to the children.

They giggled and laughed in response. The two dads trumped upstairs to the bathroom. Sasuke grabbed Sarada a new diaper and a green pajama suit that said, “Daddy's Girl” on the shirt. They hadn't quite gotten started on potty training. Sarada didn't seem ready, but it would happen soon. Boruto was in the same boat. They tried to potty train him a few months ago, but he wasn't ready, and they weren't getting anywhere with him. He peed or pooped when he had to; using a toilet meant nothing to him.

Naruto had grabbed Boruto's bag. He shifted through it to pull out fresh clothes and a diaper. Sasuke put Sarada down on the floor, and she pulled at her onesie. Sasuke turned on the water and when he turned around, the Sharingan user witnessed the adorable sight of Sarada struggling to get her clothes off with excitement.

“Papa help,” she said and Sasuke obliged.

Soon bath time was underway. The kiddos laughed and played in the bubbles with such innocence, it could melt the coldest of hearts. Boruto had an alligator and was making growling sounds at Sarada. She laughed and tried to escape the evil alligator's clutches. Once they were clean, hair washed, and presentable for mommies, everyone headed back downstairs. Bath time wired both children. They were running around, jumping on the couch, and pulling out all kinds of toys. Sasuke looked at his watch to see it was almost ten o'clock. Sleep was pulling at him and when he looked at the future Hokage, he yawned.

“How do they have so much energy?” Naruto questioned, plopping down on the couch.

Boruto ran to him and climbed up to sit in his father's lap. He held a little ball in his hand that played music when he squeezed it. A little tune from Dora the Explorer emitted from it. “Dora!”

“Do you guys want to watch Dora?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah!”

Sasuke had so many Dora the Explorer episodes saved on the DVR it was almost taken up all the space on it. Sarada stood up and walked to greet him at the TV while he set it up. Sasuke's nose crinkled. He picked up the rambunctious little girl and sniffed the seat of her pants. His face soured even more.

“You pooped,” he deadpanned.

“I poop!”

Sasuke sighed and hauled her upstairs to change her diaper with Naruto roared with laughter. It was okay. Boruto would provide the best sort of payback. After she had her cleaned up, they headed back downstairs with Sarada vice gripping her father's hair.

“Daddy pretty,” she sighed as she laid her head in the crook of his neck.

He kissed her forehead. “Daddy's handsome, not pretty.”

“Yeah, daddy handsome,” she repeated.

Sarada kissed her daddy on his cheek, and once they reached the living room, Sarada wriggled to get down and ran across the tan carpet to the TV. As the little jingle for Dora the Explorer came on, the toddlers danced around, throwing their hands in the air and bright smiles crossed their angelic faces. Sasuke sat down next to his best friend. He ran a hand through his ebony locks as he watched their children act like it was one in the afternoon and not after ten o'clock.

“What time does Boruto go to sleep?” Sasuke questioned, turning his mismatched eyes to the blonde next to him.

Naruto shook his head. “Hinata puts him to sleep most of the time. I go to bed early.”

“You're a shitty husband,” Sasuke commented.

“Shut up!” Naruto yelled. “Do  _you_ put Sarada to sleep?!”

“She goes to bed around ten thirty,” Sasuke responded with a smirk.

He was bluffing. Sasuke had only put her to sleep maybe five or six times total, and that was the average between all the random times she'd go to sleep, but Naruto didn't need to know that. The Jinchuriki huffed.

“Whatever.”

Sasuke's gazed wandered over to the children, who had gone quiet, very suspicious and frightening concerning toddlers. Sasuke smirked when he saw that Sarada was asleep on the floor. She laid on her stomach with her knees tucked underneath her, so her butt was in the air. This child was something else, she held his heart in her hands with just her smile. She breathed deep, her little mouth was agape like she had such a rough and busy day. Boruto looked around with a suspicious expression on his face, one hand behind his back. It was then that the smell hit them both hard.

“Boruto is that you?!” Naruto exclaimed while getting up from his spot on the couch.

Boruto nodded, blue eyes welling with tears. Naruto scooped him up like a football. “It's okay son. Daddy will get you changed!”

Naruto grabbed his diaper bag and locked eyes with Sasuke as he did so. Sasuke's face was so smug. “Looks like the shoe is on the other foot huh, dumb ass?”

“Shut up asshole!” Naruto snarled. He paused and lifted the back of Boruto's shirt. He had shit all the way up his lower back. “What, did you explode in there?!”

“Yes papa,” Boruto mumbled.

Sasuke snorted, trying to hold in his laughter. Sasuke guessed that Boruto might be lactose intolerant. That would be something to know before you give your kid a mountain of mac and cheese. It was the perfect karma. 

Meanwhile, Sakura and Hinata kept checking their phones, expecting frantic or confused calls and texts from their husbands. All was quiet and for moms, quiet was bad. They at least wanted updates on how everything was going.

“I'm going to text him,” Sakura blurted out.

Hinata placed her hand on her friend's. “Don't. They're doing fine. Naruto is the one we should worry about.”

The two women giggled together. Sakura sighed, placed her phone back in her pocket, and played with the straw in her Long Island Iced Tea. It would be a lie to say she wasn't enjoying a little break. She loved her baby with all her soul, but she knew how to work one's nerves. Sakura didn't prompt Sasuke to watch their daughter; he offered. Sasuke loved his daughter, but Sakura noticed his hesitancy around her. Sarada's dependence on him was a new feeling, and it took sine getting used to for the former rogue ninja.

Sakura and Hinata were nice and full. A testament to that was the half-eaten rare steak on Sakura's plate and Hinata's empty one. Sakura pulled out her wallet just as Hinata did the same. After paying for their meal, the kunoichi called it a night. It seemed it was harder to be away from their children than they thought. It was about a fifteen-minute trip and when they reached the Uchiha home, the ladies locked eyes. Solemn expression graced their features. They expected to walk into utter chaos. Sakura pictured crayon markings on the wall or Boruto running around diaper-less. Sakura took a deep breath.

“Are you ready?” she asked her friend.

Hinata placed her ear against the door. “I don't hear anything.” She stood back. “Byakugan.”

“That's cheating!” Sakura hissed.

Hinata remained quiet for a moment. She placed a hand over her heart and a warm smile of adoration crossed her features. The expression on her friend's face showed a woman who adored and loved her family to the moon and back. Curious at what she was seeing, the medic unlocked the door and swung it open so softly it didn't make a sound. Her face softened as she clasped her hands in front of her. It was the most adorable sight they had ever seen. Sasuke was sleeping on the floor. He was on his side with his arm wrapped around their daughter, who was also knocked out and had her face turned into his bare chest. Naruto was lying on the couch with Boruto sleeping in his arms. Both blondes' mouths were wide open. Naruto was snoring while Boruto had a line of drool sliding down his father's neck. Everyone slept in underwear or a diaper.

Hinata put her hands over her mouth to silence laughter, so she didn't disturb them. Sakura leaned against the doorway and pulled out her phone. “I'm going to print ten of these and post them all over the house.”

“Me too,” Hinata whispered. “Nothing is more real than a father who loves his child.”


End file.
